I take a little bit of comfort in the thought that I can’t be the only one who finds these to be challenging times we are living in. Often I think about the context of our world and how it relates to our young church. Back when I was in divinity school, my preaching teacher used to say, “Preach with the Bible in one hand, and the newspaper in the other”, and so I guess I’m stuck with that thought process now. There have been times in my life where I have felt really certain about direction, or at least about the options presented. I have felt much less certain about those type of matters lately. I think that is natural when times are “unique” (to say the least).
Over this Lenten period I have been meeting with a Spiritual advisor once a week. A wonderful chaplain out of the Chicago area who is a devoted member of the Catholic Church. I didn’t really know what to do or say when I first started, but slowly I have thawed. Our topics have been broad in nature, ranging from everything between what the last year has looked like all the way to how we perceive our self-worth. Boy, that’s a big topic isn’t it? Over our last few meetings, we have kind of settled into a routine of talking about the future and discernment.
As I have talked to my spiritual director, this has come up a time or two. I’ve talked with her about the church, and about all of you. We’ve talked about our planning and path moving forward. And I have shared that I don’t really know what the next few years look like. I want very badly to map out the next 2 or 3 years, but just can’t. I had been struggling with this until one of those revelation moments happened during the ordination service of Tyler Smith. He shared that when he was lost and searching about where to go and what to do, a friend invited him to church to “just exist” for a while. The church providing a space to live and breathe and just “exist” afforded him the ability to figure out what was next.
I shared this with my advisor, and she talked about the virtues of just living in the moment. A focus on the future can inhibit us from living now. I couldn’t help but think what a fitting message that is for our Lenten journey. As we have focused on the Good News of Christ- all the stories have been “in the moment.” They haven’t been far away promises. They have been about sharing food, defending neighbors, inspiring others, healing the sick. Jesus has been giving doses of good news to allow people to just exist and breathe in an uncertain world.
In this reflection, I have begun to lose the sense of our planning needing to be perfect. I don’t need to have all the answers- nor do you. As I stop to just live and exist, it has been surprisingly clear that things are going well for our little church. We are growing, we have some money in the bank, we are helping people- we exist. Just the fact that we are existing in an uncertain time might be the good news we need to hear. That might just be our miracle. Everything else will fall into place.
You know, it must be true that the same applies to us individually outside of the church as well. Sometimes just breathing and existing is good news AND enough. I wonder if the folks who got a piece of fish and bread at the miracle of the feeding of the 5000 saw it as a miracle? Perhaps if they were worried about getting home, or going to work, or any other thought that pops up during the day, they might have missed it. But for those living in the moment, I bet it was more than just a dinner. To be alive, and full, and sharing stories and food with those around them might have felt like a real miracle. The only difference between it being a miracle and just another day was deciding to live in the moment.
As our Lenten journey slowly comes to an end, we will get Easter and there will be an empty tomb. We see the resurrection as “The Miracle”. But it is also true that our world will remain uncertain- even if we know the Spirit is here with us. It is my hope for you all, and myself, to find ways to live and breathe in the moment. Find the everyday miracles that give your life meanings. With that fuel your heart will have the desire to carry on, and as we move with Christ those big questions of our days will be found.
Blessings,
Pastor Paul